Not all acts of heroism are written with swords—some are etched in unforgettable moments. The story of Asma bint Abu Bakr embodied strength and resilience in the face of hardship. This article highlights her legacy and the timeless lessons from her courageous choices.
Family Background
In this section, we’ll talk about the family background of Asma bint Abu Bakr. She was among the Prophet ﷺ’s most well-known female companions.
Her father was Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (Abdullah ibn Abi Quhafa), the close companion of the Prophet.
Her mother was Qutaylah bint Abdul-Uzza Al-‘Amiriyyah, Her sister was Aisha bint Abu Bakr, the Mother of the Believers.
Her husband was Az-Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam, Her son was Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr, the Caliph.
Acceptance of Islam
Born in Mecca, Asma bint Abu Bakr was among the first to embrace Islam. She embraced the faith after only 17 people had accepted Islam before her.
After her acceptance of Islam, a new chapter of courage began in the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr.
Role During the Hijrah
Asma bint Abu Bakr al Siddiq significantly contributed to the Hijrah (migration). She prepared food and supplies for her father and the Prophet ﷺ.
When she couldn’t find anything to tie the food containers with, she tore her waist belt into two and used it to tie the provisions. Because of this, she was nicknamed Dhat An-Nitaqayn (the owner of the two belts).
A nitaq is a belt a woman uses to lift her dress while working so she doesn’t trip.
“حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أُسَامَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، وَفَاطِمَةَ، عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ، رضى الله عنها صَنَعْتُ سُفْرَةً لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَأَبِي بَكْرٍ حِينَ أَرَادَا الْمَدِينَةَ، فَقُلْتُ لأَبِي مَا أَجِدُ شَيْئًا أَرْبُطُهُ إِلاَّ نِطَاقِي. قَالَ فَشُقِّيهِ. فَفَعَلْتُ، فَسُمِّيتُ ذَاتَ النِّطَاقَيْنِ.
Narrated Asma: I prepared the journey food for the Prophet (ﷺ) and Abu Bakr when they wanted (to migrate to) Medina. I said to my father (Abu Bakr), “I do not have anything to tie the container of the journey food with except my waist belt.” He said, “Divide it lengthwise into two.” I did so, and for this reason I was named ‘Dhat-un-Nitaqain’ (i.e. the owner of two belts). (Ibn `Abbas said, “Asma’, Dhat-un-Nitaq.”)
As part of her role during the Hijrah, she also kept the Prophet’s migration a secret. When Abu Jahl asked her about her father and the Prophet, she refused to answer.
He slapped her so hard that her earring came loose. Because of this, she was called the first female martyr (fida’iyyah) in Islam.
Life in Medina
A new phase of the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr began in Medina. She migrated with her husband, Az-Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam, while she was pregnant with her son, Abdullah.
Upon arriving at Quba’, she went into labor and gave birth to Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr, who became the first baby born to Muslims after the Hijrah. Her life in Medina began with the joys and responsibilities of motherhood.
Marriage to Zubayr ibn al-Awwam
Another important phase of the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr began with her marriage to Zubayr ibn Al-Awwam, the cousin of the Prophet ﷺ and one of the ten promised Paradise.
Az-Zubayr was poor when they married. She patiently supported him, feeding his horse and grinding date stones for its food. Eventually, her father sent her a servant to take care of the horse.
عَنْ أَسْمَاءَ بِنْتِ أَبِي بَكْرٍ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَتْ تَزَوَّجَنِي الزُّبَيْرُ، وَمَا لَهُ فِي الأَرْضِ مِنْ مَالٍ، وَلاَ مَمْلُوكٍ، وَلاَ شَىْءٍ غَيْرَ نَاضِحٍ، وَغَيْرَ فَرَسِهِ، فَكُنْتُ أَعْلِفُ فَرَسَهُ، وَأَسْتَقِي الْمَاءَ، وَأَخْرِزُ غَرْبَهُ وَأَعْجِنُ، وَلَمْ أَكُنْ أُحْسِنُ أَخْبِزُ، وَكَانَ يَخْبِزُ جَارَاتٌ لِي مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ وَكُنَّ نِسْوَةَ صِدْقٍ، وَكُنْتُ أَنْقُلُ النَّوَى مِنْ أَرْضِ الزُّبَيْرِ الَّتِي أَقْطَعَهُ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم عَلَى رَأْسِي،
وَهْىَ مِنِّي عَلَى ثُلُثَىْ فَرْسَخٍ، فَجِئْتُ يَوْمًا وَالنَّوَى عَلَى رَأْسِي فَلَقِيتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَمَعَهُ نَفَرٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ فَدَعَانِي ثُمَّ قَالَ “ إِخْ إِخْ ”. لِيَحْمِلَنِي خَلْفَهُ، فَاسْتَحْيَيْتُ أَنْ أَسِيرَ مَعَ الرِّجَالِ، وَذَكَرْتُ الزُّبَيْرَ وَغَيْرَتَهُ، وَكَانَ أَغْيَرَ النَّاسِ، فَعَرَفَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَنِّي قَدِ اسْتَحْيَيْتُ فَمَضَى، فَجِئْتُ الزُّبَيْرَ فَقُلْتُ لَقِيَنِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَعَلَى رَأْسِي النَّوَى، وَمَعَهُ نَفَرٌ مِنْ أَصْحَابِهِ، فَأَنَاخَ لأَرْكَبَ، فَاسْتَحْيَيْتُ مِنْهُ وَعَرَفْتُ غَيْرَتَكَ. فَقَالَ وَاللَّهِ لَحَمْلُكِ النَّوَى كَانَ أَشَدَّ عَلَىَّ مِنْ رُكُوبِكِ مَعَهُ. قَالَتْ حَتَّى أَرْسَلَ إِلَىَّ أَبُو بَكْرٍ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ بِخَادِمٍ يَكْفِينِي سِيَاسَةَ الْفَرَسِ، فَكَأَنَّمَا أَعْتَقَنِي.
Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr: When Az-Zubair married me, he had no real property or any slave or anything else except a camel which drew water from the well, and his horse. I used to feed his horse with fodder and drew water and sew the bucket for drawing it, and prepare the dough, but I did not know how to bake bread. So our Ansari neighbors used to bake bread for me, and they were honorable ladies. I used to carry the date stones on my head from Zubair’s land given to him by Allah’s
Messenger (ﷺ) and this land was two third Farsakh (about two miles) from my house. One day, while I was coming with the date stones on my head, I met Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) along with some Ansari people. He called me and then, (directing his camel to kneel down) said, “Ikh! Ikh!” so as to make me ride behind him (on his camel).
I felt shy to travel with the men and remembered Az-Zubair and his sense of Ghira, as he was one of those people who had the greatest sense of Ghira. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) noticed that I felt shy, so he proceeded. I came to Az-Zubair and said, “I met Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) while I was carrying a load of date stones on my head, and he had some companions with him.
He made his camel kneel down so that I might ride, but I felt shy in his presence and remembered your sense of Ghira (See the glossary). On that Az-Zubair said, “By Allah, your carrying the date stones (and you being seen by the Prophet (ﷺ) in such a state) is more shameful to me than your riding with him.” (I continued serving in this way) till Abu Bakr sent me a servant to look after the horse, whereupon I felt as if he had set me free.
After her marriage to Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, she had six children: Abdullah, Urwah, Mundhir, Asim, Khadijah, and Aisha.
Although she loved her husband, their relationship was tough and full of disagreements, which eventually led to their separation.
Mother of Abdullah ibn Zubair
Asma gave birth to Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr, the first Muslim born after the Hijrah. She raised him to be strong and firm in standing for truth.
When he was later the caliph and his followers abandoned him during the siege of Al-Hajjaj ibn Yusuf, he had to choose between surrendering or fighting. He consulted his mother, who told him:
“My son, if you are on the truth and calling to it, then go ahead. Many righteous people were killed for their cause. Don’t compromise, no matter the cost.”
Abdullah was eventually killed by Al-Hajjaj, who crucified his body. After three days, the mother of Abdullah ibn Zubair, old and blind, went to Al-Hajjaj and said:
“Isn’t it time for the rider to dismount?”
He replied, “You mean the hypocrite?”
She said, “By Allah, he wasn’t a hypocrite. He was righteous, fasting and praying.”
He said, “Leave, old woman, you’ve gone senile.”
She replied, “By Allah, I haven’t gone senile since I heard the Prophet say: ‘From Thaqif will come a liar and a tyrant.’”
In another narration, when Al-Hajjaj visited her after Abdullah’s death and offered help, she said:
“I’m not your mother. I’m the mother of the one crucified on the hill. I need nothing from you. But I heard the Prophet say, From Thaqif will come a liar and a destroyer. The liar was Al-Mukhtar, and the destroyer is you.”
Opposition to Yazid
Abdullah ibn Az-Zubayr refused to pledge allegiance to Yazid ibn Mu’awiyah as Caliph. He believed that the Caliphate had shifted from a system of consultation (shura) to one of hereditary rule, which he strongly opposed.
Yazid sent a message to Abdullah demanding that he come and pledge allegiance. Abdullah refused, which made Yazid furious. Yazid swore he would not accept the pledge unless Abdullah came to him in chains.
Yazid then sent a delegation to Mecca to persuade Abdullah to submit and fulfill the Caliph’s oath—suggesting that he could wear something to hide the chains so they wouldn’t be seen. Abdullah asked them for time to think about it.
He consulted his mother, Asma bint Abu Bakr, and she said:
“My son, live with honor and die with honor. Don’t let the Umayyads take control of you and humiliate you. Death is better than that.”
This moment marked the beginning of his strong opposition to Yazid ibn Mu’awiyah.
Death and Commemoration
In this section about Death and Commemoration, Asma died in the year 73 AH, only a few nights after the death of her son Abdullah. She was 100 years old. Her mind remained sharp, and it’s said that none of her teeth ever fell out.
She was the last of the Muhajireen (early emigrants) to pass away.
This marked the end of the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr, but her legacy and unforgettable stances in Islam continue to inspire generations.
Role Model for Muslim Women
After sharing the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr, we clearly see that she is a role model for Muslim women in many aspects:
- Her bravery: She was so courageous that she was called the first female fighter for Islam.
- A patient wife and ideal mother: She endured hardship with Az-Zubayr and raised her children well.
- Narrator of Hadith: She narrated 58 hadiths due to her closeness to the Prophet as the sister of Aisha bint Abu Bakr.
- Wise and devout: She could convince those around her with her strong and sound opinions. Asma was deeply God-conscious and modest. When she received clothes from her son Al-Mundhir, she touched them and didn’t like them. When told they were not see-through, she replied, “Perhaps they outline the body.” Even at an advanced age, and despite having lost her sight, she was careful never to wear anything that could be revealing.
- Generous and charitable: Even when she had little, she was known for giving to others.
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ، أَخْبَرَنَا أَيُّوبُ، حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ أَبِي مُلَيْكَةَ، حَدَّثَتْنِي أَسْمَاءُ بِنْتُ أَبِي بَكْرٍ، قَالَتْ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا لِي شَىْءٌ إِلاَّ مَا أَدْخَلَ عَلَىَّ الزُّبَيْرُ بَيْتَهُ أَفَأُعْطِي مِنْهُ قَالَ “ أَعْطِي وَلاَ تُوكِي فَيُوكِيَ عَلَيْكِ ” .
Asma, daughter of Abu Bakr, said: I said: Messenger of Allah(SAWS), I have nothing of my own except what al-Zubair (her husband) brings to me in his house: should I spend out of it? He said: Give and do not hoard so your sustenance will be hoarded.
Conclusion
And here ends the story of Asma bint Abu Bakr! Her journey remains a powerful and living example of faith, strength, and wisdom that continues to inspire Muslim women to this day.
If the courage and devotion of Asma touched your heart, imagine how much more you can discover by diving deeper into the lives of the Prophet ﷺ and his companions. At Rahiq Academy, we help Muslims connect with the Quran, Hadith, Seerah, and Fiqh in a way that’s easy to understand, spiritually uplifting, and rooted in authentic knowledge.
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